23 Apr DIGNITY?
“JUST REMEMBER, ONCE YOUR OVER THE HILL
YOU BEGIN TO PICK UP SPEED.”
I know that those of you who are still young to the point of thinking you will live forever and that you are flexible enough to bounce back from anything, this will go over your head. But as time goes on you will find that it is your dignity that goes first.
Ask anyone who has spent any time in the hospital. There is no dignity left when you get out of there. But this awful thing we are afflicted with called ‘aging’ is something that by the time your realize you cannot do everything you want, it is too late.
Anyone who knows me personally is aware that I have been pretty ornery through out my life. And those close enough should know how much I have slowed down over the last few years. It is now easier to say what is not wrong with me than go through the long list of what is. I even have to carry the list of medications and supplements in my billfold in case I have to answer any questions about them.
Between diabetes, an old infection, and weak joints I have used a cane when I am away from the house. With my chronic weight problems the horror of falling down is becoming a real fear. I used to be able to jump back up from any tumble, now it is a disaster. And the disaster is not only for me but those around me. If I go down it takes 4 able bodied people to get me back up. And this is if I have done no major damage. To say the least my dignity is gone.
There are still bright spots. I was driving the folks and myself home from a doctor appointment (we get them all at the same time to save money and time on the road). Stopping at the White’s Food liner in Kingman on the way home I got out to take some trash to the trash can, (us old farts do not throw trash out the window), when I got back to the truck my legs went out from under me on the way up into the seat. I do not remember how or why, I was just hanging by one hand on the steering wheel with my legs on fire from the scraping on the way down and twisted in a heap. While I was hanging there trying to get some strength to get up, going down would have been a real disaster, a man from inside the store check out line ran out to help.
I still do not remember if he is what got my leg back under me but by the time I was back in the seat I looked around and he was gone. I never had the chance to say thank you.
I still feel like I was run over by a Mack truck but the damage to my dignity is probably the worst. I hope who ever the man was that ran from the store to help me and then disappeared will find this and read that I wanted to say THANK YOU and did not have the chance.
Anymore it is the ability to thank those who are concerned with how well I get along and are there to lend a hand is a major part of my humility. I have been humiliated all my life for one thing or another but the ability to say thank you is worse than anything. It is the unsung hero’s that are evidence that there is still good left in the world. I hope I never get to the point that I cannot appreciate simple kindnesses from others. Any more they are not so simple.